Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
