you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
