we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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