I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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