Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize