I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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