K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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