Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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