Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
