K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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