We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Your dad touched me again.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
