He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
