We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
