laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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