Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
