I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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