btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
