then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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