so that wasnt chicken after all
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
