id be glad to
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He felt like a one man threesome
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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