Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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