There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
