He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
