You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
