he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
As shirtless as possible
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
