Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
