I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
