He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
