She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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