you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
