i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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