Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
