You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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