I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You pole danced in your parka.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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