Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
