somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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