I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
