just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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