So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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