My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
