So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
