so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
