In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
