My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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