rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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