We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
