Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
