Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
