batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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