I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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