Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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