Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
