He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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