Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
