is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize