but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
