There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
