I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
