guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
