i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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